Promise
by TheProcrastinators
Summary: Pinky may be the smallest finger but it's capable of holding the biggest secrets. RukaxHotaru, rated T for language.


A panic attack. It just happened suddenly. I was hyperventilating, gasping for air. My heart was pounding fast and hard. I felt light-headed, as if I was going to lose my sense of balance. Cold sweat trickled down my neck. I immediately sat down at the floor. Not caring if it was near to a dustbin, I can't afford to faint and hit my head. Despite my blur vision, I could spot a figure approaching towards me. A man that is. Tall with blonde hair.

"Are you okay?"

Ruka Nogi. I merely stared at him blankly, blinking with difficulty and brain too fuzzled to think properly. I slowly shook my head while tears formed at my eyes. I didn't wanted him to see such a pitiful state I was in, yet those tears wouldn't stop coming.

He scratched his neck and head a little. His helpless eyes bore into mine. "Do you want me to umm... call Narumi over?"

I clutched my head as the pounding headache worsened and replied no. Tears covered my entire vision and it just fell off my eyes. I didn't meant to cry but it just happened.

"Is there anything I can do?"

I could feel his sincerity and concern in his words, but I didn't really wanted to bother other people with my problem.

"It's okay," I inhaled deeply, "you can leave. I'll be fine. Soon."

"Hotaru, are you_ fucking_ kidding me?!" He knelt down next to me and grabbed my shoulders. My heart pumped even faster than before. I stared widely at him in shock at his use of vulgarity. He don't do that often. Hell, I've never even heard him swearing in my whole life. He continued, "You expect me to leave a person that might just die any moment?!" He was clearly angry._ Pissed off_ might be a better word.

I bit my lips after taking in a deep breath. "Well, I'm just a nobody. You don't need to spare too much concern for me." He stoned for a little while and I whispered, "You really can leave, I won't stop you nor would I tell anyone."

"Hotaru. You push away anyone who would possibly care about you, why is that so?"

I looked down, speechless.

"Just... just let me stay with you alright? And I'm sorry. For shouting." He stared at his hands that was on my shoulders and quickly dropped it. He sat right beside me.

I sighed and nodded my head. That moment was filled with silence, but it wasn't the awkward kind, it was peaceful. My headache was slowly getting better, but some part of the pain was still there.

He broke off the silence, "You know, sometimes this happens to Natsume too. I just feel so helpless. I couldn't do anything to help him at all and all I could do was to watch him suffer. There was once..." and he just stopped there.

"Once what?"

"Natsume, he... he just collapsed right before my eyes. I didn't know what to do. By the time I called for help, it was too late and that caused him to be in coma for a few days. I just feel that everything was my fault, I'm the one to blame and-,"

"It's not your fault."

He sighed, "You can say that easily, but you don't know how it'll be like until you experience it."

"At least you had called for help. Imagine if you didn't. Imagine if nobody ever found him."

"True but-,"

"That's enough."

I'm feeling better, at least there's no breathing difficulty right now. Then a thought ran through my mind. "Ruka, what are _you_ doing here, outside the laboratory, two in the morning?"

"Um well..."

"Well?"

"I'm not really sure I got here too." He chuckled, " I couldn't sleep so I decided to roam about the school. Somehow all the roads lead me here."

"Interesting."

Silence.

"How are you now?"

"Much better than before."

"Good."

Silence.

"This isn't going_ anywhere_." I could hear him muttering under his breath.

"Do you get this often? What do you do when it happens?"

"Well not really. I have medicine."

"Oh, do you have it right now?"

"Obviously no or I'd have taken it. The doctor didn't give enough. No more medicine until the next visit. It's quite harmful to the body so it's not advised to be taken frequently."

"I think Natsume has the similar one too. Do you want it?" He took it out from his pocket and showed me.

Staring at the black pill he offered, "No, it's different. Pray tell me why do you carry this around?"

"Well Natsume gets it often and you know, just in case."

"You're a great friend." I blurted out.

"Umm, thank you?"

"Anyway, I have a favor to ask."

"Anything for you," he grinned.

"Don't tell anybody about this. That includes Mikan."

"Consider it done, I pinky promise." He held out his pinky. Is he serious? I stared at him as I cocked one of my eyebrows up. I mean we're all teenagers and way past the time for this. Yet his genuine smile stopped me from saying anything, so i did likewise and our promised was made.

"If there's nothing else I think you can leave. I'm really okay."

I stood up and was ready to leave. Oh damn it. Just when I thought it was going to be fine... my heart just suddenly palpitated hard and stopped for a short while. It was like my heart nearly jumped out. I clutched my chest. It's okay, I'll be fine, I tried convincing myself, but who was I fooling? This is getting serious. I might just leave this world anytime. I could hear Ruka faintly calling out my name. However, I was losing my consciousness. I could feel myself falling but a pair of strong arms caught me. Everything was turning black. My eyes couldn't stay open any longer and I seeped into the darkness. All I knew was blank.

* * *

When I woke up, I was at a room. A room that I had never seen before but somehow similar to my very own room's structure. A three-star room. Oh. Probably Ruka's. Everything was much better. My migraine was gone, my heartbeat is pretty much back to normal too. Just the _not-so-normal_ thing was Ruka Nogi by the bed, on my hands. I moved my hands slightly and he woke up instantly.

"Oh you're awake, thank goodness." He said in his morning voice, a really deep voice that was. He rubbed his eyes, "I was just wondering what to do if you didn't woke up." He gave his biggest grin.

"What's the time now?"

He checked his watch, "7.15 a.m., you only slept for a few hours. After you fainted I just brought here and I thought I wouldn't fell alseep. Opps."

"Thank you," I said softly. I knew he heard it though, evident from his small smile.

"Well, I have to leave for classes soon."

"If that's the case then me too."

"Oh no Hotaru. You're so not going. You nearly died yesterday and you're still going?!"

"Don't exaggerate it."

"No. _You_ know best if I did or did not exaggerate it. My call. You're staying here until I'm back and I'm going to inform the teacher that you're unwell."

"But there's an important exam today and I can't afford to miss-"

"No buts. Wait. Oh damn it, the national exam?!"

"Yes. May I remind you that there's no retaking too?"

"Shit."

I pulled off the blanket and got up the bed. "Really, I'm in a much better condition right..." I coughed. Damn, why did that come in at such a bad timing? "um, right now."

"Ha, like I'm going to believe you. No. You're not going."

"I'm going."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes," he continued, "eh wait what?"

"Okay let's go."

"No no no. Fine. Let's compromise. No more lessons after the exam okay? Promise?" He held out his pinky.

"Are you for_ real_?" I really meant it.

"Yes. But if you don't want it's fine... i guess." He looked so dejected.

"Fine." I hooked my pinky with his and our thumbs met.

He tousled my hair and smiled. Why did he even do that made me quite speechless.

"Great. Umm maybe you want to change your clothes, freshen or something at your room? Come back my room later I'll prepare breakfast."

"What the hell Ruka? Seriously. What's with the black colored object?"

"Well... I attempted to toast the bread and unfortunately..."

"Ah forget it. Let's get going."

"Coffee, milk or tea for you, milady?"

"Milk."

"Wait. You're not going to eat?" he said as he handed me a bottle of milk.

"This is enough." I pointed to the milk.

"Hell no. You need more nutritious food! Look at you, you're so skinny."

"Did you just suggested me to eat a charcoal like food?"

"... fine. How does sandwich from the cafeteria sounds?"

"No need. I'm really okay with milk. It's more than enough. I don't really have the appetite too."

"If you say so," he took the bottled milk and helped to open the cap and passed it to me. I could only stare blankly at him. He's really treating me too nice that it was unbearable.

"You know, I'm not a baby. I can manage these things well enough." I sneered.

"Well it's the job for a gentleman." He flashed his smile.

* * *

Before the national exam was a period of physical education. Thankfully, I could skipped it. Though it was a little lonely being the only one watching everyone having fun playing dodgeball. Mikan originally offered to sit out with me but I knew she loved dodgeball. Unexpectedly, Ruka decided to sit out with me. He did said he didn't do it for me, but was due to unequal number of players. Who was he kidding? After he left, the teams members were 12:13. Despite his obvious poor skill in lying, I decided not to expose him as he had, well, good intentions? He intiated a conversation, however, soon gave up as I was giving too much one word answers.

"So... how are you right now?"

"Fine."

"Do you like dodgeball?"

"No."

"Are you nervous for the exam later?"

"No."

It wasn't even like a conversation, he was the only one doing the talking. Anyway, the period was soon over and everyone prepared for the exam. I could spot him frantically emptying his bag in search of an item. Calculator probably.  
Sigh, it's time to reciprocate. Lucky for him was that I had two calculators. I placed my spare one under his desk as he was literally going around the whole class begging for an extra.

* * *

Break time. I made a promise. So I'm on the way back to my dormitory, taking my own sweet time. A note was left at my doorstep. I picked up the note only to see sandwich and calculator under it.

_Hey Hotaru,_

_Thanks for your calculator, it__ helped a lot._

_Eat well_. _I'll visit you later just to check_. _I promise._

_Hope you get better soon._

_Ruka x_

I smiled as I saw his terrible effort of drawing a pinky.

Pinky may be the smallest finger but it's capable of holding the biggest secrets.


End file.
